Girls afternoon bubbly
What should have been afternoon tea morphed into an afternoon of laughter and bubbles, no not the kind you blow, but the kind that comes in pretty bottles and is served chilled in elegantly stemmed glasses.
What caused the giggling and sniggling? Well one girl shared her dilemma, should she ditch her current beau or keep him. Ditch him some squealed, keep him others cried, no comment one added, I need to mull this over more drink another interjected. What so perplexed the ladies minds?
First let me introduce you to the ladies in question.
Trish fondly compared to the Princess on the pea, nick name: The Perfectionista is the lady with the dilemma.
Vital stats: 170cm, 60kg, single, Lawyer
Sasha known to be as “bold as Brass”, nick name The Diva.
Vital stats: 175cm 65kg, business owner, married with 3 pre-school children
Amy capable of talking the hind legs off a donkey, nick name: The Operator
Vital stats: 170cm, 65kg, ex-Consultant, married, stay at home mom to 3 primary school aged children
Sarah able to blend in anywhere fondly known as the United nations of Sarah: nick name The Peace maker
Vital stats: 160cm, 50kg, in a relationship, psychologist & mom to 1 pre-schooler
Lexi loved for throwing the best parties in town. Nick name The Reveller
Vital stats: 165cm, 55kg, marketing director, single no kids
So on to the Perfectionista’s dilemma. Should she ditch him or keep him? The current beau in question was a relatively recent occurrence being current for only the past 6 months. The Operator and Diva were quietly hoping that this was The One and were desperate to meet the said Beau. But instead of being asked to get their glad rags out for a potential spring wedding….the Beau in question was on the docks in serious danger of metaphorically losing his head. On a mission to save the current Beaus’ head, the Operator squealed keep him even before enquiring about what urged the doubts. No one is perfect she added. The Diva interjected “does he meet the grade?” “What grade” asked the Peace maker? He is not a piece of meat or cut of cloth. The Diva rephrased her question, is he of the same cut of cloth? Peace maker sighed and the Reveller announced she needed more drink to consider the question “To ditch or not to ditch” that could be a film title she added after taking a rather large gulp of her Champagne. True to form, the Peace maker asked what is it that troubles you about Mr. Not quite right? That’s just it replied the Perfectionista, he is not quite right. So what’s wrong with him? pressed the Operator. I do not know answered the Perfectionista. The Diva rolled her eyes and said “he does not make the grade, I vote ditch”. The Peace maker incensed shrieked “forget the grade” no-one should be measured or assessed like a piece of meat. OK retorted the Diva he just isn’t right. The Operator, not quite ready to give up on the Beau just yet added. I have a few questions about Mr. Not quite right. Everyone knew that a few meant many and with the Perfectionista’s legal training, no question would get a simple answer. The Reveller interrupted, this could be a long night, first we all need another drink. Large Champers were poured for all and the operator lived up to her name with a barrage of questions in quick succession not giving the perfectionist any chance for long winded flowery responses.
What is his mums name? Have you met her? When did you last speak to him? When do you plan to meet next? Who organised the meet? When did you last stay at his? when did he last stay at yours? What did he give you for valentines day? Does he notice when you wear new clothes? or new shoes? Does he have a group of mates he hangs out with? What are their names. When do you last go out as a group. What did you wear when you saw him last? with which shoes? and which handbag? More Champers anyone interjected the Reveller, these questions are doing my head in. What has his Mums name got to do with the question in question? I must drink more more often, it does wonders to my english prose. The Operator continued unperturbed. What is his favourite drink? What did he eat on your last date? Have you been away with him for the weekend or longer? Where did you go? Who planned it? What did you wear to dinner at the getaway? Have you talked about a future get away? Who is planning it? What is he doing right now? The Operator paused, now I need a drink. She got up to retrieve another bottle of bubbly from the fridge. She returned and announced Ladies, this is our 5th bottle. No one is driving home tonight, Ueber for one and us all. My english prose is also improving, she giggled. Well added the Peace maker addressing the Perfectionista, you know that you can have confidence in any advice you receive tonight since the only honest people in the world are drunks and small children. The Diva, so much for your questions, we are still no wiser as to what is wrong with Mr.Not quite right. Oh I know what’s wrong with him added the operator. Tell tell tell shrieked the Reveller. So the Operator began the revelation. Our not so little Miss. Perfect here is known for her killer heels in which she stands over six feet tall. On the two occasions when I asked her what she wore on their dates, she answered flat ballerinas. Why would our Perfectionista wear ballerinas of which she possesses only 1 pair on such important dates. Something is amiss, if a woman possessing no less than 60 heels in the genre Manolo, Louboutin, Gianvito Rossi, Aquazurra resorts to Ballerinas. This faux pas is akin to the Queen wearing Nike trainers to her coronation. The Diva asked how tall is he? About my height came the reply. Touché screamed the Operator and added Mr. Not quite right is too short when you have your standard 6inch heels on. I guess so muttered the Perfectionista as she sipped her Champagne. Well I’ll be darned muttered the Reveller. At which point the peace maker interjected, lets just say he is not right. It is frivolous to ditch a guy on the grounds of height. And the moral of this story is added the Diva “never compromise on style”. The group dissolved into fits of laughter.